All hail the Divine Daddy: the bigness of Bandit

Not since Maggie and PJ cruised the streets of Mount Thomas in a banged-up Ford Falcon did a bunch of blue heelers get us reaching for the TV remote. Unless you’ve been living under a rocket clock for the past few years, you would’ve come across Bluey, the family of Blue Heelers with their own TV show on the ABC. If their inner-city townhouse and massive yard is anything to go by, they’re also pretty well-heeled. While the show is called Bluey, Bandit is possibly the actual star of the show, thanks to the buckets of selfless love and energy he pours onto his two daughters.

So why am I banging on about Bluey? Because I had a thought. And I wasn’t sure whether to say it because I have endless adoration for the genius and spirit that is Bluey. It is clever, creative, and one of the only kid’s shows that doesn’t make parents fantasise about throwing their flatscreen under the wheels of a Woolworths semitrailer.

But still, the thought remains. I can’t help but think - if Bandit was the mum, and not the dad, would the show be received the same? Or is it 2022 and we are still going goo-goo over a hands-on dad?

It’s unfortunately still rare to see a father figure on TV who’s as involved and invested to the extent that Bandit is. No wonder he was awarded the (canine) Father of the Year. And why not? As a role model for fathers, he’s right up there. I guess the point I’m pondering here is that Bandit is basically doing what mothers have done for generations, which is to put their own needs in the background and dedicate ourselves to our children, day in, day out.

No-one blinks when a woman’s career, health and social life mostly go down the toilet when she becomes responsible for small children. But if a dad even makes half of these sacrifices, he’s exalted. I’m fortunate to have a husband who can run the house if I occasionally go away to visit family. But it is interesting to see the offers of help that he gets during these occasions. Well-meaning family and friends ask if he needs a hand, or would he like a cooked meal left on the doorstep? Yet when he goes away for work and I’m solo parenting, those same offers don’t appear.

I think it’s fabulous that Bandit is such a strong father figure. But the attention he’s gotten perhaps suggests that A-grade fathering is not the norm. And that’s not all men’s fault. Sure, there are dads out there who are total duds when it comes to all things domestic. But there are other dads who probably would do more if they could. If they had an employer who realised that letting a man leave early to take his kids to netball training is actually a really important and special thing for dads to do.

A modern mother is often a working mother. She needs support, in the form of a partner who can bend and flex around the needs of children. But men are often not granted this flexibility, so the women are left to do it all. Working mothers in Australia still do over 70% of the household chores and child raising. No wonder we fall in a heap and marital tensions rise. Marriage can get hard when kids come along. And I believe a lot of the issues stem from the fact that modern couples with children are trying to achieve equality in a society that hasn’t caught up to what that means.

So even if Bandit is getting worshipped for doing a role that women have performed for decades, if his presence demonstrates what a modern father could be like if he had both the inclination and the support from his employer, then let’s keep him on that pedestal for as long as it takes.